The Secret to Sweet Success in Work, Love and Life
Why do some people "make it" and some people do not?
Why some people succeed and others fail?
The key difference between success and failure is not merely hard work or superior intelligence, but the ability to delay gratification.
The Stanford University Study
Children were left in a room, each with a marshmallow, and given the choice of eating it then or 15 minutes later, when they were promised an extra marshmallow as a reward for waiting. Some ate theirs right away. Others waited. But the study's real significance came a decade later when the researchers discovered that the children who held out for the reward had become more successful adults than the children who had gobbled their marshmallow immediately.
I learned a lot of principles from this simple marshmallow theory.
Delayed gratification or deferred gratification is the ability to wait in order to obtain something that one wants. This ability is usually considered to be a personality trait that is important for life success. People who lack this trait are said to need instant gratification and may suffer from poor impulse control. Impulse control disorder is a set of psychiatric disorder including intermittent explosive disorder (hot-headedness), kleptomania (stealing), pathological gambling, fire starting, etc. The key features of these disorders can be thought of as seeking a small short term gain at the expense of a large, long term loss.
What are these gratifications that we should delay? Materialism- for example, buying things that are not necessary.
Elder D. Todd Christofferson said, "Materialism is just one more manifestation of the idolatry and pride that characterize Babylon".
When we receive our salary, for instance, we tend to buy things that are called "status symbols". You are tempted to buy those because you feel like everybody has them or you just want to show off. These are little things that we buy, but when we have saved, we could buy bigger things or more valuable things.
Elder L. Tom Perry also said, "In our search to obtain relief from the stresses of life, may we earnestly seek ways to simplify our lives. Gradually build a financial reserve, and use it for emergencies only. If you save a little money regularly, you will be surprised how much it accumulates over time."
President Gordon B. Hinckley taught, "Set your houses in order. If you have paid your debts, if you have a reserve, even though it be small, then should storms howl about your head, you will have shelter for your wives and children and peace in your hearts."
Control of love. Self-control is actually a measure of the maturity of the young person. Those who fall in love uncontrollably are those who are immature. A mature person can control his or her emotions and feelings. My husband, Anatolin started courting me when we were both 15. We met in seminary super Saturdays and scripture chases, youth conferences and single adult conferences. He became my first boyfriend, my first love, only after graduating from my university at 21, and at that time, he also had successfully completed his full-time mission. I know that waiting for the right time made our feelings and relationship even sweeter.
People throughout the world acknowledge Mormon missionaries as being outstanding young men and women. One major reason is the self-control they have developed. To be a good missionary, one must develop within himself a high degree of mental discipline. A successful mission requires total commitment—the giving of one’s heart, might, mind and strength to the cause.
Lastly, President Spencer W. Kimball said, “The greatest battle of life is fought out within the silent chambers of the soul. A victory on the inside of a man’s heart is worth a hundred conquests on the battlefields of life. To be master of yourself is the best guarantee that you will be master of the situation. Know thyself. The crown of character is self-control.”
Our choices are the mirror of our self-control. They will lead us to our eternal destination if they are made with direction and control. This is the secret to sweet success in work, love, and life.
Why some people succeed and others fail?
The key difference between success and failure is not merely hard work or superior intelligence, but the ability to delay gratification.
The Stanford University Study
Children were left in a room, each with a marshmallow, and given the choice of eating it then or 15 minutes later, when they were promised an extra marshmallow as a reward for waiting. Some ate theirs right away. Others waited. But the study's real significance came a decade later when the researchers discovered that the children who held out for the reward had become more successful adults than the children who had gobbled their marshmallow immediately.
I learned a lot of principles from this simple marshmallow theory.
Delayed gratification or deferred gratification is the ability to wait in order to obtain something that one wants. This ability is usually considered to be a personality trait that is important for life success. People who lack this trait are said to need instant gratification and may suffer from poor impulse control. Impulse control disorder is a set of psychiatric disorder including intermittent explosive disorder (hot-headedness), kleptomania (stealing), pathological gambling, fire starting, etc. The key features of these disorders can be thought of as seeking a small short term gain at the expense of a large, long term loss.
What are these gratifications that we should delay? Materialism- for example, buying things that are not necessary.
Elder D. Todd Christofferson said, "Materialism is just one more manifestation of the idolatry and pride that characterize Babylon".
When we receive our salary, for instance, we tend to buy things that are called "status symbols". You are tempted to buy those because you feel like everybody has them or you just want to show off. These are little things that we buy, but when we have saved, we could buy bigger things or more valuable things.
Elder L. Tom Perry also said, "In our search to obtain relief from the stresses of life, may we earnestly seek ways to simplify our lives. Gradually build a financial reserve, and use it for emergencies only. If you save a little money regularly, you will be surprised how much it accumulates over time."
President Gordon B. Hinckley taught, "Set your houses in order. If you have paid your debts, if you have a reserve, even though it be small, then should storms howl about your head, you will have shelter for your wives and children and peace in your hearts."
Control of love. Self-control is actually a measure of the maturity of the young person. Those who fall in love uncontrollably are those who are immature. A mature person can control his or her emotions and feelings. My husband, Anatolin started courting me when we were both 15. We met in seminary super Saturdays and scripture chases, youth conferences and single adult conferences. He became my first boyfriend, my first love, only after graduating from my university at 21, and at that time, he also had successfully completed his full-time mission. I know that waiting for the right time made our feelings and relationship even sweeter.
People throughout the world acknowledge Mormon missionaries as being outstanding young men and women. One major reason is the self-control they have developed. To be a good missionary, one must develop within himself a high degree of mental discipline. A successful mission requires total commitment—the giving of one’s heart, might, mind and strength to the cause.
Lastly, President Spencer W. Kimball said, “The greatest battle of life is fought out within the silent chambers of the soul. A victory on the inside of a man’s heart is worth a hundred conquests on the battlefields of life. To be master of yourself is the best guarantee that you will be master of the situation. Know thyself. The crown of character is self-control.”
Our choices are the mirror of our self-control. They will lead us to our eternal destination if they are made with direction and control. This is the secret to sweet success in work, love, and life.
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